When Caring Too Much Hurts: My Experience of Burnout and Compassion Fatigue.

3–4 minutes

If you’re someone who feels deeply, loves fiercely, and gives generously—this one’s for you.

As an empath, I’ve always found purpose and identity in being there for others. Understanding people, holding space for their emotions, and offering support when they need it most—these aren’t just things I do, they’re part of who I am.

But there’s a darker side to this gift that’s often unspoken: compassion fatigue and burnout.

And when it hits, it hits hard.

What Is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is sometimes described as “the cost of caring.” It’s what happens when you’ve been so attuned to others’ pain, for so long, that your own emotional reserves start to dry up. Suddenly, the empathy that once fueled your connections begins to feel more like a weight than a gift.

You may notice:

You feel numb instead of compassionate.
You’re irritable or short with people you normally have patience for.
You’re emotionally exhausted—even if nothing “huge” has happened.
You feel guilty for needing space.
You wonder if you’re a bad person for not being able to care like you used to.

I know I’ve asked myself: “Why can’t I just be there for them like I used to? What’s wrong with me?”

When Self-Worth Is Tied to Showing Up for Others

If your self-worth is deeply rooted in being a helper, a listener, a safe place for others—it can feel like compassion fatigue steals not just your energy, but your identity.

When I feel burned out, I don’t just feel tired—I feel like I’m failing. Like I’m not enough. Like I’m letting people down.

But here’s what I’ve learned (and still have to remind myself constantly): you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Being depleted doesn’t make you selfish.

It makes you human.

Empathy is a beautiful gift, but it requires care and boundaries, or it will consume you.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Feeling Burned Out

It’s taken me a while to say this and truly mean it. But also to truly understand it but I want to say this clearly:

Compassion fatigue doesn’t mean you’re cold, or uncaring, or selfish.

It means you’ve cared so much for so long that your nervous system is waving a red flag, asking for a pause.

It’s a sign you need nourishment, not shame.

It’s okay to need time to reconnect with yourself. It’s okay to take a step back without abandoning anyone. It’s okay to say, “I love you, and I need to rest.”

It also means you can’t care anymore or that you will never care again. That was also a thought that terrified me.

What if my caring and empathetic side never returns?

Will I be able to work in healthcare the same way and continue the career I once loved?

The answer is yes.

Yes you can still do all those things again, but this time around it needs to be within limits. Within limits that don’t sacrifice your own happiness and well-being. Limits that protect your sense of self. And this time around I need to be more self aware. Noticing the signs that I need to focus on my needs more, take time for myself before I reach burnout, and importantly, not feel guilty for choosing my needs over others from time to time.

Finding Balance Without Losing Yourself

Here are a few reminders that have helped me:

Your worth is not based on how much you do for others.
You can care deeply and have boundaries.
Rest is not a betrayal of your values—it’s an act of preservation.
Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is care for yourself.

If you’re reading this and it resonates, I want you to know you’re not alone. Being sensitive, empathetic, and open-hearted is not a weakness.

It’s a strength. But like any strength, it needs rest and renewal to stay alive.

Let’s normalize being there for ourselves with the same tenderness we offer others.

With care,

Duty of Care

If you’ve ever struggled with compassion fatigue, what helps you come back to yourself? I’d love to hear your story in the comments 💬